
Aw, fall in New England! Should I not have moved to Texas?. Obviously, he’s into it because, as my mom always said, guys love it when you’re a little bit mean to them. This one kid named Max from Cali is not on board with Salem’s Halloween obsession, and a girl named Alison schools him. Oh, now we’re in the ’90s for sure because people are wearing tie-dye and turtlenecks under chunky sweaters. They go to their deaths cheerfully, promising to come back. Dark: The townspeople show up and hang the witches because the inhabitants of Salem at this time were famously witch phobic. Wow, talking cat! Real Sabrina the Teenage Witch energy. Their stated goal is to “suck the life out of all the children in Salem.” The kids are not on board, understandably. Just like that, all the witches are transformed into younger, hotter versions of themselves, which I’m sure was in everyone’s contract. The Hanson-esque teen boy shows up to rescue his little sister from the witches, and I must say her tiny knitted cap is very Batsheva-core. She’s definitely committing to the role, but I’m just saying her look is a little more glam than those of her sisters.
Was it in SJP’s contract that she had to be the only one to actually look good?. I have to say, the costuming and makeup of this movie is absolutely extraordinary. Did all teenage boys in the ’90s have those floppy, Hanson-esque haircuts? I can’t remember.